It’s things like the Boston Marathon bombings that remind me why I never want children. Things like Sandy Hook, like Aurora, that create a grief in me that is unbearable, something I would never want to let another human being feel (not that I blame my mother). I am reminded of the mean-spirited, the mentally ill, the people who just want to mess shit up. I cry into my boyfriend’s arms and he reminds me of the kindness of humanity, of all the things people did following the explosions to help and it feels good that I have someone by my side who can see the positive things so clearly but it is not enough.

I read about how violence is at an all time low. Is that supposed to make me feel better when I see horrific images of limbless bodies and dead children? That’s what I’m supposed to tell my child when asked why people are being senselessly murdered?

I know all about the joys of life and happiness in everything, but to create another human being knowing the potential for their sadness…it seems too cruel. The world’s in some serious shit. No place for babies.


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