You know that feeling you get when you change your mind? I think it’s just like the one you get when you realize you were wrong. It’s so faint, so slight, and it grows rapidly into something entirely different but I wish I could bottle up that fraction of a second that it exists. I’d write entire novels with it, epics, that made people feel like they were finally coming to terms with the meaning of life. It would question the human condition. It would make no sense and people would get it.

In my dreams we’re together and it’s beautiful, but I’ve always known that real life isn’t ever anything like dreams. Love probably isn’t anything like what I imagine. I think I’m afraid to really envision it just in case I never experience it. If I don’t know what I want, I’ll never be let down. You want to know the truth though? I want the kind of love that transcends everything. Two halfs coming together, where, when you’re apart, the world is sad, and when you’re not, you can do anything you ever wanted. You learn and grow together, and work for each other, and the thought of the world continuing without the other is unbearable. Someone you can stand all the time and who knows your family isn’t perfect but doesn’t care. Maybe you don’t agree on everything, but there’s something there that strengthens your relationship after your fights. It’s okay, you can tell me the truth. I know that doesn’t exist.

The Tin Man and I were going to make a strawberry cake, but I’ve just learned I have to write an essay instead. So sad.


One Response to “”

  1. 1 Kevin

    It does exist. It’s like you’re walking through a cave; you may see many paths that have faint light down them, but they may not lead to the exit. You just have to keep searching until you find the right path. I know that that sounds like a religious thing, but it’s not. There is someone out there who will make you feel this way, I guarantee it. You just have to stick it out until you find them or they find you.

    Keep you eyes peeled and happy spelunking!

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