24Jun09

I’m not sure how this started, but lately I’ve been looking up children’s books on Amazon to check the one star reviews. I think sometimes people are joking (which is hilarious in itself, why go to the trouble?), but they’re really funny nonetheless. There are some serious Dr. Seuss haters out there.

Green Eggs and Ham:
“If you’re searching for a literary example of peer pressure, look no further than Dr. Seuss’s subtly horrifying “Green Eggs and Ham.” The “hero” of this tale, Sam-I-Am, spends the entirety of the book trying to force green eggs and ham upon a nameless skeptic. The “villain” turns down the offer several times, but Sam-I-Am persists, going so far as to follow him home in order to make him try the green eggs and ham. He uses several textbook methods of peer pressure, including the famous, “You’ll never know that you don’t like it if you don’t try it.” He refuses to respect the man’s right to say no, and badgers him incessantly until he caves under the pressure.”
“This book is SOOOOOOOO annoying! What’s the deal with all the rhyming?”

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish:
“It is like this book was written for a baby or something. Anybody looking for enlightened literature should look elsewhere.”
“From the title, I expected the whole book to be about fish, and opposites, or at least different descriptors. But not only is it not just fish, after the third page, the whole thing falls apart. Each page has nothing to do with the following page. Why were these pages put together to form one book? Who knows. To the reviewer who says he can read it in any order–this isn’t Choose Your Own Adventure. It’s _supposed_ to be a sequential book.”

Horton Hears a Who!
“This isn’t a kids book at all. The message behind it is one of choice, making reference to a woman’s right to choose through horton and the planet. I don’t care what your views on abortion are (anti or pro), you shouldn’t let young children read and decyfer the hidden meaning. Dr. Seuss was a nut job and a child corrupter, don’t support his work.”

Where the Wild Things Are:
“The only people enjoying this book are twisted adults, its so wierd it makes my skin crawl.”

The Very Hungry Caterpillar:
“This book has to be one of the greatest sagas ever told, the story of a caterpillar who eats his way to becoming a beautiful butterfly. I think it’s a story we can all relate to. I’m going to give it one star anyway because I just stubbed my toe really hard and damn it, I blame this book.”

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom:
“this book has upset my child terribly, we think it has to do with all the injuries the letters receive. She really has a problem with it and 4 weeks later she still talks about it.”

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie:
“This story revolves around a mouse who demands ever-increasing amounts of consumer items from an ever-increasingly exasperated boy. Cute pictures hide a terrible message of selfishness and class warfare boiling beneath American society.”
“Who would let a mouse into their house by bribing them with a cookie. If your kid did that in real life and you ended up with mice everywhere and feces it’s not going to be a good experience.”

Curious George:
“Curious George gets kidnapped from his natural habitat in an African jungle by a “nice” man who throws a sack over him, bundles him onto a ship and takes him to America where he puts him in a “nice” zoo. Is this the kind of “niceness” we want our children to learn?”

The Rainbow Fish:
“This book is purely and simply a primer for Socialism and eradicating the “self” for the “good” of the collective whole.”

It never gets old. It’s really messing with my recommendations though.

Advertisements


One Response to “”

  1. i loved the book it was both inspiring and interesting.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: