16Jun09

I don’t think I’m necessarily lazy, I just lack ambition. I have no real desire to accomplish anything. I’m never gonna be rich, I have no career goals, I don’t really want to get married, I could take kids or leave them. I wouldn’t mind traveling, but it’s not a big deal. I don’t care. I spend my days doing things that make me happy, and that’s kinda my plan for the rest of my life.

I want to write stories that are fantastic and heartbreaking and beautiful, but being published or having people read them is not all that important to me. I think my mother would describe this as a fear of failure, but I don’t think failure is really that bad. Maybe I’m just boring or pathetic. Maybe I’ll change my mind.

Because recently amazon.com saw fit to put one of my reviews of a book under the editorial reviews section and the thrill it gives me every time I see my name there (right next to Miranda July’s, no less) is exhilarating.

http://www.amazon.com/Insects-Just-Like-Except-Wings/dp/8190605631/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245169214&sr=8-1

– – Lisa Gatlin, Arizona Daily Wildcat. I don’t really know how it got there or or who’s in charge of that kind of thing, but I love them. Maybe I do want fame. I want to excel and see my name everywhere, just to feel that rush. I don’t want the most exciting thing in my life to be that I got a review on some website near Miranda July. I want something more.

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