In Maricopa there is one street with stores, John Wayne Parkway. There are two grocery stories, maybe six fast food places, probably ten restaurants, three gas stations, two car stores, two ice cream shops, three banks, two dentists, two cell phone stores, two pool places, two drugstores, a florist, a daycare and a card shop.

Other than that, there are something like 15,000 houses, spread out in dozens of neighborhoods surrounding this one street. There are ten schools and about a million cows that tend to smell very bad. The next closest city (Chandler or Casa Grande) is 30 minutes away.

I read in the paper this morning about a secondhand bookstore on this unknown road called Honeycutt. I couldn’t believe it. Is there something more to this town?

Maricopa’s very own biweekly newspaper, The Communicator, has basically no news to report and after filling pages with city council meetings, the high school baseball team’s stats and recognizing local businesses, it has taken to making shit up, like questioning the quality of the Maricopa Police Department.

My favorite page is the crime. The entire crime in the city of Maricopa for the past two weeks is listed on a quarter of a page, full of the most ridiculous things in the most serious manner:

“An adult was observed  giving beer to minors on N. John Wayne Pkwy.”
“Theft was reported on W. Miramar Rd. The caller reported someone keeps jumping the fence to steal cigarettes.”
“A business on N. John Wayne Pkwy. reported a shoplifter was caught and was belligerent.”
“A complaint of loud music was recieved. The caller stated it sounded like 2 parties having a battle of the bands.”
“Two aggresive dogs were reported running loose N. San Juan St.”
“A medical call was recieved for a 13-year-old who was hit in a football game earlier. The call stated the boy was now feeling very  bad.”

About half of them are noise complaints and alcohol being stolen. It’s just absurd. How could the police be handling this poorly?

The most exciting thing this week was that they opened up a Walmart, on the road  that leads to Casa Grande. It’s literally in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure half the town has been there by now. My mother and I went yesterday. Today I asked her if we could check out the bookstore. Why, she asked, when we could just buy books at Walmart? A little part of me died and I still hate Maricopa.  I will be out of here in a week(ish) and I’m happy about that.


One Response to “”

  1. 1 Kevin

    So wait… is the bookstore real or not (it kind of sounded as though you implied the newspaper made it up). And if it’s real, is it cool?

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