“Arizona Daily Wildcat, how can I help you?”

“Hi, this is Bruce, uh, from Massachusetts?”


“Yeah, I’m trying to help McCain/Palin win, so I thought I’d try out there, this is a newspaper in Tucson, correct?”

“Yes, that’s correct, this is the Arizona Daily Wildcat… Uh, how can I help?”

“A student newspaper?”


“About how far are you from Phoenix?”

“Uh, about an hour and a half, I guess.”

“Oh yeah? OK, well, I was thinking I’ve got this story that needs to be published, that would really help McCain and Palin win. It’s about yankees and cowboys. See, yankees are gonna vote for wishy-washy Democrats while cowboys are gonna vote for dependable Republicans. Cowboys like Arizona, get it? Are you with me?”

“Uh, yes, I follow.”

“I suppose you already have the newspaper out for today, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Do you know of any papers in Phoenix that would publish before the polls closed?”

“Ummm… Not really, no.”

“I think I’ve got the number for the Arizona Republic, or wait! What about television? That would be the way to do it, right?”

“Yes, sir, that’s a good idea.”

“That’ll really get to them immediately.”

“Yes, sir, and you’ve got about four and a half hours left before the polls close, so there’s definitely still time.”

“Ah, thank you very much! Do you know any television stations in Phoenix that I could call?”

“No, sir, I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Hey, that’s OK. You’ve been a great help ma’am! Thank you very much!”

“Thank you, sir, good luck with… that.”

“Thank you, bye bye now.”


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